06 December 2010

Jesus Flashlight and a Pecan Picker

College is one giant test, isn't it?

Some of the assignments the professors dish out are a little ridiculous. Now that it is the end of the semester, they are really laying it on thick. The final project for my 3D Design class is to make a piece of wearable art. "I've totally got this," my sewing brain said to me when the professor handed out the assignment sheet. After seeing the slideshow of past wearable art pieces and professional pieces, I knew what I wanted to make.

An evening gown made of coffee filters.

Yes! I took one look at Susie MacMurray's work and wanted to do my own spin on her work. By the end of class I had a pattern, fabric, and layering methods in my mind. But the process. The process of attaching the coffee filters was not in my mind. Stupid process. Maybe if I call it a method it will come to me? Nope. While working on the dress one night last week I found myself staring the pattern envelope down, trying to imagine it covered in perfectly folded and dyed coffee filters.

Befuddled and frustrated, I took to my kitchen. I had prepared some banana nut bread earlier in the day, and there was somehow batter everywhere. Cleaning is very therapeutic for me, so I took to my dishes. Dishes were being rinsed left and right! The counter was visible yet again! There were egg shells to monsterously grind in the garbage disposal! Huzzah! I eagerly flipped the switch for the mighty garbage disposal.


Garbage disposal, you are not supposed to make that noise. I turned it off, ran some water, and tried again. Same noise. My family is full of fixer uppers, so I took to my tools. Garbage disposal would not defeat me. Not now, not ever. But wait- I don't have any tools that one might need to fix a garbage disposal?

Flashlight- don't have one
Something to fish around with- spoon?
Something to poke with- pecan picker?

Being the resourceful Julie that I am, I armed myself with my Jesus-shaped flashlight, pecan picker and a soup spoon. Jesus and I looked around that disposal and quickly found the culprit: a banana stem. BANANA STEM. Banana stem be jackin' up my garbage disposal! Jerk. So, with Jesus' help (in more way than one) I fished that stupid banana stem out with the soup spoon. After it was out I didn't want pecan picker to feel unused, so I went ahead and poked the banana stem a little.

With this new found confidence in my problem solving abilities, I looked at my coffee filter dress and said, "You. Me. Sewing Machine."

The end.

(No garbage disposals were damaged in this odd, real-life story.)

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