13 June 2011

Breaking Up with your Apartment

The time has come for me to move along, so I'm needing to write my 60-day move out notice. But what do I tell the front office? It's not you, it's me? Can I blame this on school? I mean, I could keep driving 40 minutes both ways to school and not move, but that seems silly. Should I be super professional and keep to the point? Or can I be cheery and tell them to have a nice day?

Yo Apartment People,
Hey peoples, it's Julie. I'm moving out in 60 days and I'm not paying for new carpet. Capiche?

Dearest Apartment People,
I regretfully have to inform you that I will be vacating my residence in 60 days. This has been such a special apartment to me. It was my first one all to myself. Sorry about the craft paint on the floor. This will be a very important location in 20 years, when I'm very famous for being famous. You should go ahead and preserve all of the indentations in the carpet from my furniture. People will want to see that. The next person who lives in this apartment might also want to see how I arranged my furniture, because people, that living room is an odd size/shape.

Deer Apartment Peeple,
I can has new apartment?

This is going to be tough, but at least I have multiple personalities to fall back on.

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