21 February 2012

Friday Night at 1 am

Middle School JCM; June 2001
It's raining outside- a steady rain with thunder in the distance and some lightning for good measure. The rain softly beats on the roof , while the dryer gently tumbles its load. I'm organizing my new dresser that I bought myself for my birthday. Going through my vast sock collection, which contains socks I have definitely had since the sixth grade. With the socks and the rain, I am completely overcome with memories. What a wonderful, blessed life I have been given.

One of my clearest memories from living in Louisiana was a summer afternoon. I'd spent the morning at Linnie Leavines' birthday party at the LSU practice pools. We swam, ate cake, and probably did some giggling. As it usually was in Louisiana, it was raining that afternoon. After the party, Mom drove us back home. Mom loves rain, so when we got back to the house, she opened the kitchen windows  by the table to let in the sound and the smell.

I decided to do some drawing at the kitchen table. I sat there quietly, coloring and listening to the sound of my colored pencils making their way across the printer paper and the sheets of rain running across the roof. I paused to look out of the window, just as a bright green gecko scurried across the window screen. I remember feeling peaceful in that moment.

Mom was probably talking to Granny on the phone. Dad was probably watching something on PBS. Emily was definitely taking a nap. Peaceful and secure.

Now, every time I'm home doing every day things, like organizing socks, and it starts raining, I think of that moment and how lucky I am. It also reminds me how much I have not changed over the years. With all of the moving and big life changes, I still enjoy my socks with the vegetables on them. I often feel guilty about having all that I have.

We, as humans, can do a lot of things for ourselves as far as making ourselves into who we want to be, but mostly God gives us the factors in our lives (family situation, country of origin, health). I struggle to understand why I got it so good/easy. The only thing I know to do is be thankful, and try to become who I'm supposed to be.


  1. I really like this entry Julziee. Dad and I are blessed with three wonderful children and lavished by God's incredible gifts. In regard to the photo--when did you get to be so beautiful?