26 September 2012

Crazy Town

Grandmother Pool!
Something happens to a person when they plan a wedding. Some people learn how to arrange flowers like Martha and do their own flowers on their wedding day. Some develop super-human powers of folding napkins into shapes other than squares or rectangles. Some find the power and concentration within themselves to hand write all of the place cards for their reception.

I did not get any of these qualities.

Instead, my brain stopped working and I had really crazy hallucinations. I think it might have been a side effect of me trying to be super creative for the wedding decorations, but not having any creativity left after finishing the art degree, my brain dug deep... from the creativity reserves. It is weird down there, you guys!

I first noticed the side effects of wedding planning when Josh and I were chatting by text one night. He said, "Going for a bike ride with Chris. Shower later?" One of my bridal showers was the next day, but  with this having completely left my brain, I said, "Yeah, you should probably shower tonight."

Then, my sleeping patterns started getting cooky. We're talking sleeping from 6am-1pm. I don't even know how I got to that. One night when I was laying in bed wondering why I wasn't sleeping, I thought I saw the ghost of my Great Grandmother Pool. She looked nice, but I was not going to find out if she wasn't. I quickly turned my bed side lamp on. There wasn't anyone (thing?) there.

Some nights when I couldn't sleep, I would stay up doing things. This may or may not have been a good thing. One night I needed to go outside of Mom and Dad's house and change some laundry over to the dryer. Mom and Dad's house is perfectly safe and I shouldn't have been completely terrified to change the laundry. But I was. Fear over came me! I had to give myself a pep talk to walk 5 feet outside! I finally made my way out to the laundry room with Mom's butcher knife in hand and a pair of sewing shears in my pants.

I... I don't even know.

But the funniest hallucination was when I was up late printing and folding programs and noticed that the security light had come on. That light always comes on when nothing is out there, but wedding planning brain forgot that. I tip-toed up to the front door window and peered into the darkness. What is this?! What are these tiny mounds in the front yard? BUNNIES? My brain was overwhelmed with joy. Why were all of these bunnies in the front yard? Whatever, bunnies. I walked away, unfazed that there were a dozen bunnies in the yard, and went back to folding. A little while later, I went to the big window in the living room to check on the bunnies, and what?! What is this?! THOSE ARE SYCAMORE TREE LEAVES.

I went to bed after that.

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