23 October 2013

Alien vs. Mary Roach

I have a theory.

Mary Roach has yet again written a hilariously informative book. Josh got me "Gulp: Adventures on the Alimentary Canal" for our wedding anniversary and I have been working on it ever since. Who knew digestion was so funny!

Josh and I have also been watching all of the Alien movies. The ones with Sigourney Weaver and the slimy alien predator things.

Stick with me here.

I got to Chapter 6: Spit Gets a Polish: Someone ought to bottle the stuff and got to thinking about that Alien.

"Wounds that would take several weeks to heal on one's skin disappear in a week inside the mouth. In a 2008 rodent study, animals that licked their wounds healed faster than those that could not..."

"As much as saliva is a bacterial cesspool, it is also an antimicrobial miracle- the former necessitating the latter. As a germ killer, saliva puts mouthwash to shame. Saliva has anti-clumping properties, which discourage bacteria from forming colonies on the teeth and gums."

The Alien often takes several hits to its body when it gets into tussles with the humans and robots in the movies. It is also very slimy. Is it possible that the Alien coats itself with its "saliva" to help it last longer in battle? Does it have some sort of super saliva that quickly heals the wounds without getting infected? I think yes and yes! That would greatly aid it in recovering from all of the things Ripley shoots at it.

Important theories like this one are brought to you by running. Yaay!


  1. I don't think the aliens coat themselves with saliva. But I do think they probably sweat a lot. After all, their blood can dissolve steel. That in itself is a puzzlement - how do their blood vessels contain something that can dissolve steel? High density polyethylene? Nalgene? Borosilicate glass?

    My daughter with the college degree - watching "Aliens". That's my girl! Have you seen "Alien vs Predator"? Or "Alien vs Predator - Requiem"? Predators could wipe out the Aliens, but that wouldn't leave any plot for the next sequel.


  2. That's disgusting. But thank you for sharing your theories. Here's a theory: maybe running increases blood flow to your brain a little too much? Teehee.