22 June 2015

Two Things to NOT Ask Women

by me, c. 2012
There are things in life that I assume are common sense. More often than not, I am proven wrong by everyday experiences with other humans. My parents encouraged being extremely polite (sometimes to a fault) from a very young age, but that doesn't mean that other people were taught the same things my siblings and I were. I really shouldn't be surprised when people ask me things I wouldn't ever dream of saying to anyone.

1. "Are you pregnant?"
OH MY GOSH. There is no better way to make a lady feel fat and bloated with three words. This of all conversation topics still surprises me that people ask women.

Josh and I were at church on Sunday having a good ol' time working in the sound booth. After the service, I was putting the cd recordings of the service in their little sleeves. One of the church ladies walks up to me and says, "Congratulations!!!" I said, "Thank you???" in a very confused tone. She then went on to ask me if I was pregnant and if I was excited about having a baby, etc. I told her that I wasn't expecting and she lightly apologized and shuffled away. I was a little offended, but not particularly because I know I don't really look pregnant.

Unless you are a medical doctor working with patients, there are no instances (even if she is obviously 8 months!) where it is ok to ask a lady if she is pregnant. I also don't think you should ask a lady when she is going to have children, unless she is a really close friend. There are a lot of emotions/cultural pressures/sad feelings surrounding pregnancy. She might not want to have children! She might not be able to have children! She might have just lost a baby! For crying out loud, just STOP ASKING. Most pregnant women I've known were happy to share the news, unprovoked, with me when the time came.

2. "Are these your children?"
Ok, this one might seem a little random, but people will surprise you. I have been asked two separate times if two of my friends from church were my mom, who are around the same age as I am. 

One of the times, two of my friends and I were in Albuquerque for a 5k. After the run we went to the Uptown shopping center, like one does. We went into BCBG and a sales girl walks up and starts talking to us. One of the first things she said to my friend Jen was, "Are these girls your daughters?" referring to me and my friend Sara. There is no way on God's green earth that Jen looks old enough to be our mom. Absolutely no way. We immediately left and I don't think any of us have ever been back to that store.

Moral of this story is, my friends are my friends, not my moms.

1 comment:

  1. People never cease to amaze me! Wow. There ain't no way you appear preggo, girlfriend.